Getting the first shot

At my first appoinment, I went through several different examinations, from pressure tests to having photos taken. I also had the photos taken where they give you a Fluorescein injection and time to see how long before the dye starts showing up in the photos, all the while snapping shots of your retina. The woman taking the pictures was a bit abrupt with me, but I suppose its hard to get people to look at the right spot all day, especially when they can't see it too well. Oh, and the blinking. That drives them crazy.
After seeing nurses and undergrads, the doctor finally came in to talk to me. He was nice enough, he explained to me what the disease was and how he wanted to proceed. He told me that Avastin was a newer, experimental drug that had shown lots of positive results when used to treat macular degeneration and other cases of CNV. He told me that this was not a cure, and that it would not make it go away. The Avastin would simply stop the veins from growing temporarily, but it would wear off in a matter of weeks and I would have to undergo another injection, and repeat process.
After I finally agreed to say yes, signed the release forms, and as soon as they left the room to gather the matierials needed, all of the weight from what I had just learned hit me like a ton of bricks. I learned that my life was going to change forever, that I was going to eventually loose my sight, I just broke. I cried so hard that day, big messy sobs that wrench you deep in your belly. I cried for my future, I cried for my loss, I cried because my life was going to revolve around my disease now.
The doctors gave me plenty of time to pull myself back together, granted it was shaky together, but together none the less. The nurse explained how the procedure was going to go. My first shot went like this: The nurse administered some numbing drops over the course of 10 minutes, and also used iodine to clean my lids, lashes, and the eye itself. This part stung like no other, because the numbing drops had very little against the burn or the cleaning solution. After it was "cleaned",  the doctor came in and used an eyelid speculum to hold my eyelids back. I was given a smaller injection of numbing solution to numb the area to be injected. I was told to look to the right, towads my shoulder so that the doctor could inject the avastin in a part of the eye where there is a specific area where they   can inject without causing harm to the eye. At this point I froze, completely like a statue. I held my breathe because there was no way I wanted to have any movement while a needle was in my eye. Despite the numbing and the pre shot, it still hurt. I could see the medicine as it was being injected into my eye, and they swirls of it  floating past. It is truly a weird thing that nothing is like.  This went relatively quick, seconds really, but it seemed like it took forever.
I was done, they took out the speculum, gave me antibiotic drops to use every 4 hours for 4 days, and I was told that there was a risk for infection and so on and so forth. At the point, all I wanted to do was wake up from this nightmare. I went home and just slept for a few hours after that.